Reading and Writing

I’m trying to make an effort to be more productive in my own work, but it keeps getting overwhelmed by reading and writing. By that I mean reading and writing for other people.

A few weeks back I finally got around to applying for a proper business bank account. I wanted something that could allow me to keep things separate, and easier to manage when it comes to filing my taxes next year.

When a helpful young lady (God, it makes me feel old that I can actually tell that a girl from the bank is distinctly younger than me just by her voice) called today to go over some details of my business, it was a challenge. I felt like I was coming across as being snotty without even intending to (and I do, fairly frequently, intend to be snotty). What do I do? I write. What do I write? All sorts of things. Do I work for a particular industry? No. Not at all? No. Do you have any current clients? Yes. What are those jobs? A construction company, a children’s book author, a wedding company…

She half interrupted me, ‘Oh. That is rather all over the place.’

It is, and I don’t want to complain about it. It’s not something I particularly dislike, but it’s also not necessarily what a 20-something me would have aimed for.

I recently finished reading the very enjoyable Legends of the Chelsea Hotel, and it forced me to wrangle with that 20-something me. The book might not interest those who haven’t spent a lot of time at the Chelsea (I was a regular reader of the seemingly defunct blog that the book developed from). It’s the nature of the place that if you don’t know it, you’ll think none of it could possibly be true.

But reading through it, it was like an update of what happened to the people I remember (though I still don’t know what the guy on the 4th floor was doing… some sort of kettle ball instruction? a one-on-one primal scream workshop?). It also reminded me of what sort of vague idealism I had in New York.

It also reminded me of why I had to get out.

I’ve always struggled with balancing work and creativity. I also never quite have enough confidence in myself and my work to thoroughly push things a bit further. I also need to pay rent.

So, here we are, back at reading and writing.

(On a positive aside, I have been feeling fairly motivated to do work on the long-delayed PhD. At the very least, I’ll be writing a post on here about a specific issue of television viewership that nobody will particularly care about. Yay academia!)

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About jeninher30s

A writer and procrastinator.
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