A one-week challenge: Day 5

This is the last proper day of the challenge, and it’s been a weird one. 

After last night’s heavy dinner (which wasn’t overly heavy — a big piece of fish and a salad), I went to bed with a growling stomach. The no food after 9 rule has been the hardest bit of the challenge. As things move on for future weeks, I think that rule will be altered. No food after 9 is more realistic a rule when you have a more normal schedule. Since we’re always up (and often working) much later than that, it might be more realistic to make the cut off time a bit later.

Today I just didn’t feel like eating all that much. I had my usual breakfast, but struggled past half of my lunch. Dinner was the same. Other than the day where I slept until noon and was half frozen until the evening, today has been my lowest net calorie intake. It’s approaching 9 and I’ve had two squares of chocolate and an apple for a post-dinner snack. I can’t make myself eat anything else in the next half hour.

I caught myself about an hour ago, though. This is one of those times where I’d comfort eat. It’s a bit cold, I’m feeling a bit mopey. There’s nothing to do, nothing to get excited about, nothing to keep me occupied. It’s where I’d go into the kitchen and make some sort of dessert and eat far too much of it myself. But today I didn’t. I stopped myself and recognised that it wasn’t hunger, it was depression.

That’s another thing I’ve noticed this week — my mood has been much more steady. Once I got past the initial shock of not eating throughout the day and without regard to quantity or quality, I was ok with it. I haven’t been hungry at any point (other than late at night), so the eating I would have done would have been emotional. I know that sort of eating also fucks with my blood sugar and brain chemistry. I’ve known that for a while, but actually experiencing it was strange.

After adding in exercise the last few days, it’s made me feel better. I have aches and pains, but they’re for a reason. I know why I hurt, instead of the usual pains (which are still there) that don’t have any clear explanation. The horrible crunching noise in my knees is as bad as ever, and the associated pain is bad, but not quite as bad as it gets during a course of physical therapy. So that’s something, I suppose.

The weekend (Saturday, at least) is a break from the challenge, but next week is a new challenge, and I’m ready for it.

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About jeninher30s

A writer and procrastinator.
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