The Mcleveys: Taking No Shit

After posting this, I realised that it would have been even better to call this ‘The Mcleveys: Taking No Spit’. Oh well. Maybe next time…


Today we had one of our first shopping trips as The Mcleveys (more about the wedding in a later post). We needed to get me a new desk, so after a bit of shopping around ended up, as always, in Ikea up in Bristol.

The trip was going fine. We found the best solution (options from the Vika range) and collected our items. On a whim, I decided to pop into the Bargain Corner. There I found a few blankets like the one that the white cat used to mistake for his mother. It was marked down to £2.50, so a bargain indeed.

We checked out, as usual, at the express till where you scan your own items but are warned that security might check. There was a slight delay when I was given an on-screen instruction about scanning the bottom barcode on the reduced price tage on the blanket. I did and we carried on as normal. We walked off, having bought our items. While lagging a bit to determine if we needed to take the elevator or not, we were accosted by an Ikea employee, or at least an Ikea contractor for a receipt check.

We’ve been through this before. Often. We handed over our receipt and started shuffling things around so he could see that all that was in the trolley. He said he didn’t need to see that, but took the receipt and walked over to write things down on his keyboard. Around this time we started both thinking things like ‘how much credit card information is on that receipt’ and ‘who the fuck is this guy.’ He mumbled the numbers that ended the product numbers and finally came back to us.

As we were about to walk off, he noticed the blanket and declared that he hadn’t seen that. (We’d held it up for him before, and it was the first item on the receipt.) He grabbed it from us and looking at the price tag with the two barcodes, he declared that they shouldn’t have sold it to us. We were confused and he insisted on taking the tag off.

With. His. Teeth.

I got a bit upset at his having our new blanket in his mouth. He laughed it off and continued gnawing at the tag. I replied with something like ‘we didn’t pay for that to have you put your fucking mouth on it’ and walked off. Adam told me on the way out that he said something to him, apparently seeking agreement, that I was a bit of a tough one.

We took the elevator down, got to the car and noticed that the blanket had a big snag where he’d yanked the tag off. Pissed off with it all, we agreed to return it right then and there. We didn’t want his spit blanket in our house, and it was a matter of spite now.

We took the special returns elevator up, took ticket number 143 and waited for the returns desk to call us. When we got there, we calmly told the guy what had happened and that, due to saliva and snags we no longer wanted it. The returns guy laughed and said he didn’t know why the guy had even taken the tag off, let alone with his mouth.

We returned it, and got our £2.50 back. We hope that mouth removal of discount tags isn’t the standard Ikea policy. Even more, I’d love to find out what that guy was doing. I can describe him to any Ikea Bristol manager who could give me answers.

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About jeninher30s

A writer and procrastinator.

One response to “The Mcleveys: Taking No Shit”

  1. vivisunoriginal says :

    This is one of those ‘only to Adam and Jen’ stories

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