It has been written. In this case, it is nothing.
I haven’t written much here lately, and a few people are starting to bully me about it. They blog, I don’t. Yet I’m the writer, somehow.
I have good reasons. Since 22 August, my last post on here, I’ve done the following:
- Helped set up, run, and take down The TV Show, including getting the site for it running
- Interviewed Julian Kimmings
- Interviewed Cheba (to be published tomorrow)
- Interviewed Adam Mclevey
- Gotten everything in order for the start of a new (and hopefully my last) year as a PhD student
So it isn’t as though I’ve done no writing. Just nothing here. Nothing of my own.
There’s also a not-so-good reason. I just can’t be bothered. I love the whole seeing that X number of people have read what I’ve written and all that self-involved shit, but I can’t be bothered to go through the effort of writing for 15 people to click on my blog, get bored one line in, and give up.
Of course, I know that the site gets hits. I know that people comment on stuff in conversation, on Twitter, in emails. But I want more. And I want more for less.
I think part of the problem is that I look at this as a guilty little pleasure. Writing for myself isn’t getting me anything these days. It doesn’t pay the bills, it doesn’t help with impending moving expenses, and it doesn’t sell art. It also doesn’t finish my thesis.
So if I’m just writing for the sake of writing, shouldn’t I be writing something that has a purpose? Something like the business plan that’s slowly coming together, or the thesis, or some other bit of writing that can more easily go on a CV.
Of course, I write plenty on Twitter. Maybe half of that should go on here. I might have more followers if I wrote less on there, too. But that’s a whole other discussion, isn’t it?
I need to come up with some reason for this blog. Is it art shit? Those posts got a fair few hits. Weston crap? Also, some good hits. Or just rambling nonsense? Amazingly, those posts have their fans, too.
I’ve been considering adding some more structure to my days. Something I took away from the TV Show is that I love commuting, getting up in the morning, rushing to get out while desperately slurping down as much coffee as possible, going to work, and then coming home feeling like something has been accomplished. I might start commuting to nowhere. Pay bus fare each day just for the adrenaline, then go sit somewhere and write like I need to.
Who am I kidding? I’ll just get bored of it in a week if I’m not getting paid.